Pretty much everyone has had a bad date movie experience. Maybe you both thought it would be fun to see the new Neil LaBute movie (terrible idea). Or you wanted to show your date how worldly you are by playing a foreign film and mistakenly chose Dogville or Repulsion. When I was younger and more foolish, I watched Brazil on a date. In my defense, I wasn't the one who chose it. I love Terry Gilliam's dystopian retro-future epic, but my date didn't quite know what he was getting into. It's easy to kill the evening with a poor film choice, especially early on in a relationship. Here are some movies it's probably best to avoid watching on a date, unless you want to gauge your date's cinematic taste or get them to dump you:
Anything by Neil LaBute: Director and writer of In the Company of Men, Your Friends and Neighbors, Wicker Man, and the Shape of Things. LaBute's films often involve battle of the sexes scenarios, misogynistic dialogue, men who are jerks, and women who are manipulative. If this sounds like something you'd watch on a date, you are probably better off single.
Anything by Lars Von Trier. Minimalistic Danish director Lars Von Trier films include Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark, Dogville, Manderlay, and Breaking Waves. His work is often controversial, sexually explicit, and brutally violent. While his films are groundbreaking and often highly praised by critics, they are grim and unflinching.
Anything by Terry Gilliam. Gilliam is a surreal filmmaker with a bizarre vision. His films are long, emotionally exhausting, and sometimes less than successful. Brazil is one of my favorite movies ever, but the ending has many twists and turns that give you the feeling of being trapped. It's a brilliant film and Gilliam's masterwork, but not for everyone. Likewise, I enjoyed the Fisher King, especially the relationship between homeless professor Parry (Robin Williams) and the nervous, clumsy Lydia (Amanda Plummer), which is one of the strangest and sweetest movie romances. However, it's also a lengthy, dark film with an odd blend of fantasy and reality.
Bad Lieutenant (1992) and Bad Lieutenant: Ports of Call (2009). Both movies follow a hard living, gambling addicted police lieutenant who relishes in abusing his power. The original Abel Ferrera directed Bad Lieutenant features Harvey Kietel crying, screaming, and otherwise having a spiritual breakdown for several minutes in a church (a scene that's very fun to impersonate). Bad Lieutenant: Ports of Call features a scene filmed from the point of view of an iguana. These movies are weird, gory and pretty awesome, but definitely not going to make anyone feel romantic.
Blue Velvet (1986). Many people have trouble handling David Lynch's surreal and stylized vision in any of his films; but Blue Velvet is especially bad for a date because Isabella Rossellini's character Dorothy is constantly humiliated by the sadistic Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper).
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Chuck and Buck (2000). Writer-star Mike White is the king of discomfort comedy. If Michael Scott's chronic stupidity and awkwardness on the Office make you flinch, this will make you want to hide in a closet. Chuck and Buck is a comedy/ thriller about a socially clueless playwright named Buck (Mike White) who is in lust with his former best friend Charlie aka. Chuck (Chris Weitz) and stalks him. If you want your date to feel uncomfortable, this movie will do the trick!
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A Clockwork Orange (1962). Dystopias and Stanley Kubrick are probably two things that are good to avoid when choosing date movies.
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Happiness (1998). Writer-director Todd Solondz creates ultra black comedies. The characters in this movie are warped, especially a sweaty/ perverted stalker played by Philip Seymour Hoffman and a pedophile played by Dylan Baker. This movie will make you uncomfortable at times and it's probably best to watch it by yourself. Solondz movies will cause you to laugh at pretty inappropriate moments.
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The Notebook (2004). Either your date will resent you for watching such an over-the-top saccharine romance or they will spend the rest of the evening crying. You can't win with Nicholas Sparks.
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Requiem for a Dream (2000). Movies about drug addiction and withdrawal are pretty much romance killers and this is no exception. This is a bleak movie and has several scenes that are hard to watch. Aronofsky's other film Pi is not a good choice either, unless your date really likes mathematics and head drilling (don't ask).
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Repulsion (1965). In the mood for love? Repulsion can fix that. This Roman Polanski directed film follows a beautiful manicurist (Catherine Deneuve) with a strong dislike and distrust for men. When her sister goes away for the weekend, Deneuve suffers from disturbing and violent hallucinations.
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The Ugly Truth (2009). Why would you want to make someone you care about (or could care about) watch this movie? I have nothing against romantic comedies, but there are much better choices out there. And no, the Bounty Hunter isn't one of them (Sorry, Gerard).
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