Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Admit It: You're obsessed with "Hotline Bling"

Via Pitchfork

Unless you live under a rock (or are Meek Mill or like…my 90 year old grandmother) you know all the lyrics to Drake’s smash hit “Hotline Bling” and you love every second of it. It was hard to admit at first, I know, but now you own it. You live to get in your car every morning on your way to work and scream “YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE” at the poor people taking your coffee order at Dunkin’ Donuts. Or maybe that’s just me? Anyway, here’s a list of songs with essentially the same message to help you get over your obsession with “Hotline Bling”. 

"It Is What It Is" by Kacey Musgraves

I know what you're thinking and yes, I do write a lot about Kacey Musgraves, but that's only because I know good music when I hear it. "It Is What It Is" is the closing track off Kacey's first album Same Trailer, Different Park. This song is both the best and saddest ode to friends with benefits that you'll ever hear. Most Drizzy-esque lyrics:
"But I ain't got no one sleeping with me /
And you ain't got nowhere that you need to be /
Maybe I love you /
Or maybe I'm just kinda bored"  

 Florence Welch has built a career on other peoples' heartbreak. This track, off her third studio album How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, has a call-and-response chorus about waiting by the phone that would make Smokey Robinson proud. Most Drake reminiscent lyrics: 
"Now it's one more boy and it's one more lie / 
(Holding on for your call) /
Taking the pills just to pass the time /
(I can never say no)"

Modern romance (at least according to Aziz Ansari) is essentially not knowing if you're actually dating a person or instead just "hanging out" with them on a fairly regular basis. And if that's not confusing enough, these non-relationships usually end when one person decides they've found someone who is more interesting to text. Cam's single "Half Broke Heart", which has yet to be released on a major record label, explores what comes after the fallout. She sings: 
"Upfront no strings /
Sure fun till it unravels /
Won't see me cry / 
But I might kinda wanna call you tonight"  

Grace Potter has been leading The Nocturnals through the murky water that is pop-rock for years now. Her first solo album titled Midnight dropped earlier this year; "Empty Heart" is the one track off the album that Drake himself could have written. Proof:  
"I cry when you do, I cry when you don't /
Why won't you tell me what you want with me /
One day we're together then we're apart /
Why won't you let me fill up your empty heart" 

So, there you have it. Drake may be the king of emotion, but there's plenty of artists out there who can help us conquer the epidemic that is "Hotline Bling". Enjoy.